THE POWER AND THE GLORY
Charismatic Christians pray and talk a lot about seeing a new move of the Holy Spirit and new demonstration of the power of God today. And indeed, all the signs point to a coming time when His presence will be revealed in the Sons and Daughters of God, and reverberate throughout every institution here on earth. As with any natural event, where people are caught at different stages of readiness, the Church is in various stages of preparedness for what God is unfolding. He is about the business of straightening out our hearts and attitudes, and there is much to be set in order.
As part of my own preparation, God has been turning over the soil in my heart, and I’m finding out that pearls aren’t the only things buried there. In this process, I’m continually discovering, or maybe in some cases coming to terms with an understanding of myself that I don’t always like. Very quietly, like the flow of quicksilver, the Father gently probes at unexpected moments, speaks, asks questions, and answers mine.
Learning Christ, as Paul says, means that everything connected with the old me has to go. Ephesians 4:22. We may readily think of the old me as some area of sin that we haven’t been able to conquer. Sure there are those, but the other day the Lord focused my attention on one of the subtle traps set in the unexpected places of our heart. One of these is our desire for the power of God. Why do we want to see God move, anyway?
Recently, when I prayed to see the power of God, that’s the question He asked.
Have you ever been in a church service where it seemed that there was a lot of effort being made to drive you and other worshippers into a heightened emotional state, or to pump you up to "feel God’s presence and power?" I can chuckle about it now, but I’ve had people pray for me who "laid hands" so hard that I had to plant my feet not to be pushed over by the force of the touch. I don't think that's the power of God. As someone shares with you their new understanding of God, do you find yourself itching for a moment to chime in and say, "Oh yes, God showed me that too," while politely keeping to yourself the thought that He actually showed it to you too, perhaps some time earlier and in more detail? To my shame I have, and I know it happens among us as believers. That’s not the power of God either.
We can all agree that God’s magnificent, omnipotent power is demonstrated daily in our everyday lives. The beauty of birth, the wonder of science, the spectacular displays of nature all shout of His might. But sometimes we pray and long for God’s interventions of a supernatural kind in our lives. We long to see in our daily experience the miracles of the God of Moses, Elijah and Joshua. And yes, sometimes God does marvelous and awesome things. The sick are healed, and those in need of faith, comfort and material help experience His goodness and we are blessed by His grace. But I’ve been preoccupied by the notion that we’re only seeing raindrops and God has so much more to pour out upon mankind - saved, unsaved, just and unjust. What is that more, and why aren’t we seeing it? So I asked God to show me what His power is really like, to the limit of our human capacity.
He answered me on two parallels. The first thought that came to my heart was that His power that He has placed in me is also at the same being hindered by me. In fact, when the disciples asked Jesus why they could not cast the demonic spirit out of a young boy, He told them that such a thing required fasting and prayer. Mark 9: 28-29. An absence of fasting, and a life where so much time has been spent on the necessities of daily existence, and even squandered on thoughtless engagements of the mind, have all lessened the time available for prayer and fasting and getting next to God. But the second issue that God brought to my heart was even more troubling. It was the question, Why do we pray for God’s power?
Now, the things we don’t talk about openly often live deep in the little dirty areas in our hearts that most need the bright light of our Father’s grace and careful, cleansing attention. I heard the pastor say much the same in church recently, and while I was listening politely, I certainly didn’t think I had a problem here. Oh no, not me. But it started coming back to me then, while I was in prayer. Why do you pray for power? My answer to the Father right then was great! I said, Lord, I truly believe that the power of the One True and Only Almighty Living God has no equal and no comparison, and that when anyone experiences the greatness of that power, to the extent that our human frailty can withstand it, then change is bound to happen. Yes, visible manifestations, but more than that, inner change. Like the healing of broken souls and wounded spirits, regeneration of failing flesh. Even more, unbelievers (saved and unsaved) will be persuaded, and there will be a rush of pure worship from a unified Body of Christ. All of that sounds wonderful and deeply spiritual, doesn’t it? And all those things really are desires of my heart. They are not different from what we all want as believers who are waiting to see what God is doing in these times. But was that really all there is to my longing for God to show us His power? Was that the only reason for my prayer? That question continued to bother me.
You see, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, underneath the "good" answer, there was another answer of the soul that is not as polite, not as nice and does not create anywhere near as good an impression. Could it be that somewhere deep in a dark, unswept corner lay a desire to be someone God uses to show His power, not so much for His glory as for mine? After all, if God uses me to speak a word of change, that must mean there’s something special about me, right? If when I pray for the sick, someone is healed, that must mean I’m pleasing God and His anointing is not held back from me, right? Won’t God consider me a valuable player and put me on the all-star team? And doesn’t it confirm the "special-ness" of my calling?
There are other ways this self-exalting nature can conceal itself. How about desiring the power of God to grow a small church to a mega-church, or to create a renowned ministry? A mega-church might bring status and validation from the religious community. I heard a pastor say once that in any gathering of pastors, a pecking order is immediately established based on who has the biggest church or ministry. Won’t the marvelous works of God in our house of worship impress others with our greatness? If God’s power is demonstrated when I pray, speak, sing, won’t it attract followers? And wouldn’t God be satisfied with the good result? Wouldn’t the end justify the means, even if the means was stolen glory?
Our Father’s answers can be vivid, and always so timely. A few days later after I began to feel a little uneasy about this question of power and glory, He caused me to open a book by Gene Edwards that I’ve had in my office for over a year. I turned directly to a page that spoke to this question He had asked:
Brother Edwards observed that these prayers are hollow inside and are really an effort to get around spiritual growth. Then he went on to say that God hears those same prayers and answers them too, even to some very unworthy vessels. According to the book, which compares the lives of David and Saul, God has given great power to some among us who have done wondrous things. Yet these ones have thrown spears, hated and fought with others, plotted to kill and consulted witches. Why would God do that? So that the internal nakedness of those individuals will eventually be revealed. God’s grant of power is actually a means to eventually lay that person bare. Not to expose them to ridicule or criticism, but hopefully, I believe so that by His grace healing can begin, even though Saul didn’t allow that to happen.
Saul’s motivation was not good, but God let him have power. And with the power, all the earthly trappings that came with it: recognition, influence and money. The story of Saul was not new to my ear. What jolted me, because it was new to my heart, is that God could and might do the same to me, and to anyone else longing to see His power, but for the wrong reason. The problem is, if our motivation isn’t right, the spiritual gifts He’s placed in us will still work - for a while anyway. But, we will have created a finite limit for God’s power to flow through us in the future. A clog in a pipeline will build up to the point where only a trickle of the flow remains, and even that will eventually be cut off. In the same way, intoxication with our own self-importance can cause our effectiveness for Him to be cut off, and even brought to an untimely end. God says He will not give His glory to another. Isaiah 42:8. Taking it destroys us, every time.
This was hard news. Not one of us confronted head on with the choice of being Saul or David would choose the way of Saul, the wayward king. But perhaps Saul’s choice was a subtle one, made in a dark place in the heart that he wouldn’t acknowledge openly, and so he was exposed. He eventually paid a high price for stolen glory. It’s a blessing to have God dig this issue up and have me lay it open so He can deal with it. Sure, it made me feel like two cents, but I’m so happy He’s teaching me about this now. You see, this writing is very much about me. We can preach to others about what’s wrong with them, but the Word of God is like a boomerang. It comes right back to our house, for the same Word will measure us, and it’s probably even worse to have that measuring done before others, who may not be as ready to forgive and forbear as God is. I’m just sharing this in case it might be of value to you too.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the Kingdom, and the power and the glory for ever. Amen. Matt. 6:13.
Deanna
